If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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