Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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