Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
