I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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