If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
