from now on my penis is your penis
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
