i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
