Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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