so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Bring me that man meat
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
