Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So much Jack, so little girl.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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