I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
