my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
