dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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