Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
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We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
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We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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