I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
