who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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