it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
