I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
There r osticjed everywhere
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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