He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
