If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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