My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
