please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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