I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
