take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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