I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
