Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
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More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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