I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
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noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
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This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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