sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
