So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just want to make out with him forever
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
