i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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