Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize