At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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