I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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