Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
