The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
