Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
