but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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