Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
