if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
