did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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