I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Bring me that man meat
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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