I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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