wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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