I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize