he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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