last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
