Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
