I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize