I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
