Where did you get a picture of my penis
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night