Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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