shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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