Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
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