i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize