jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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