Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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