we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
