was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
