The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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